To Sustain Life
by Caneeltje
Summary: It's obvious to Booth that Brennan is hurting. Everytime he tries to get her to open up, she shuts him out. How will he be able to help the woman he loves, his girlfriend, who is clearly upset and in pain? Bren Angst, Booth Sweetness! HURT/COMFORT R&R!


A/N: Hey you!

This is our first fic, yes, ours! It was co-written. We both write separately on Fanfiction, but we decided to join forces!

This is the result! Please keep in mind that this is POST SEASON 5. Like at least 3 YEARS!!!

Okay, with that in mind, enjoy our fic!

* * *

I was standing in front of my desk, with my back turned to the door. I couldn't believe it. This was not happening. _How am I ever going to deal with this? It wasn't supposed to be like this. I – I. _I put my hands on my desk, trying to find something solid. Something that would help me stand as I let the facts sink in._'How on earth am I going to tell him? It's already the second time I will disappoint him. It wasn't supposed to go like this!_ I could feel the tears burn, begging me to release them, but I couldn't. I was at work. And when we started this relationship three years ago, both Hacker and Cam were very firm. You leave your personal issues at home. _But I can't just not think about it. How can I ignore this?_ I shook my head and as I did so the tears started to fall, my entire body shook while my reality caught up with me.

I entered her office without knocking, and immediately sensed something was off. She stood slightly bent, leaning heavily on her desk. "Bones." I addressed her in a soft voice, making my presence known.

_No no no! Not now. I can't deal with him now._ I tried to stand tall, but I found that my body shook too much. _I can't. If he sees how badly I'm shaking, he'll never let it go._ I sighed, took a deep breath and tried to make my voice as strong as I could. "What do you need, Booth?"_ God, I hope he buys this._ But deep down, I knew he wouldn't.

"Okay." I said resolutely and walked up to her. She could protest all she wanted, but in the end, I was stronger than her, and she wouldn't be able to escape my grasp. I did respect her personality, though, so I always went about gently, gauging her mood, then reacting instinctively to it, because somehow my instincts were never wrong when it came to her."I need you to tell me what's wrong, baby." I whispered and reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear, so that I could see her face.

I instinctively flinched away from him. _How can he do that? Why is he not repulsed by me? Granted, he doesn't know yet, but after last time, God he took it so hard. I - I can't do this to him again. I can't - no I WON'T tell him. I just have to get away from him so I can figure this out, calm down, deal with it and after I've dealt with it, I can be around him again. But until I've done that, I need some space. _"Don't." I hated how my voice trembled. I tried to move away from him, but since the emotional shock hadn't played out its full chemical effect yet, I found myself unable to move. So I took a deep breath and spoke up again. I was pleased to notice that my voice sounded somewhat stronger. "Don't Booth."

_As far as she's concerned, I never give up and I always succeed, albeit sometimes after a delay._ So I sat down on top of her desk and placed my hands beside me. An open position. She could step into my arms any time she wanted. "Don't what, Temperance?" I knew I'd gotten through to her, when she looked up sharply at me.

I looked up sharply at the mention of my name. I didn't deserve to hear it spoken in such a gentle note, by the voice I loved so much. "Don't Booth. Just don't. Don't ask, don't - don't…" I couldn't go on. My emotions were overwhelming me. A part of me wanted to turn around and run as fast and as far as I could. But the other part needed my partner to help me through this. So I stood still. Not able to decide which one.

_Oh, boy._ I thought. _This is not going to be easy. She's really upset and has apparently made up her mind that I'm not to be told._ "But I am asking, Bones. And he who asks a question, is prepared to learn the answer. Whatever it may be. Sounds logical, right? Well..." I shrugged. "To me it does." I waited a moment, got no desirable reaction, changed tactics. I reached for her hand and quickly took it in mine. "Bones!" I said, startled. "You're shaking. Baby, you really do need to tell me what's wrong. It's me, you know you can tell me anything. You know that. Come on, Bones. I hate seeing you upset. If you don't want to do it for you, at least do it for me, okay?" I stroked my thumb over her cold hand.

I tried to pull my hand back, but I lacked the strength. "No. Booth. Let go of me. Don't ask, don't touch me. Don't… I'm not worth it. Please…" I took a deep breath and stared out the window, trying to pull my hand back. "Just go, Booth." My thoughts were just as desperate. _Please, Booth. I need a minute. I can never tell you this, but the more upset you see me, the more determined you will become to get me to tell you and eventually I will and then you'll just leave. Exactly what you should have done the first time. You're a smart man. You won't make the same mistake twice. So please don't force me to force you to leave._ I was determined not to look at him, even though my tears were silently sliding down my cheeks.

I was not giving her back her hand. There were some basic principles in psychology - which Bones considered to be the dirtiest word in the dictionary - and one was that once you had taken on the challenge, you should not back down. Don't let a dog take the toy from you. Don't draw Bones nearer and then release her to run off the other way. And I am a man who sticks to my principles. Conclusion: I wasn't letting go of her hand. "What do you mean you're not worth my concerns? Of course you are. I love you. You're worth everything to me. But you gotta talk, Bones. You're supposed to be a quick learner. Learn to talk to me."

I frantically shook my head as I tried to pull my hand back. "Booth, please, no. Let go of me. I don't - I won't - I CAN'T!" I was close to throwing myself in his arms and crying hysterically. But I couldn't do that. It was irrational and since I was determined to not tell Booth about this, I couldn't do that, because it wouldn't help me reach my goal. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, looked up at him and looked into his warm brown eyes for the first time since he had entered the room. I tried to make my voice sound stern and harsh. "Let go of my hand, Booth. Now." And I succeeded, the words I said were cold as ice as I spoke them. I just hoped that my eyes weren't betraying me right now. I hoped they were not giving anything away, but since I was still crying, I was pretty sure that they were. I didn't back down, though, I simply spoke again. "Let go, Booth."

"You should know better, Bones. I'm not letting go of you. I can't let go. I don't want to let go." I clearly wasn't speaking about the simple act of holding her hand. "Listen. I won't tell you that you're crying. I won't bully you about the fact that you're shaking, which is also quite worrisome. I'll stop asking what's wrong. I just need you to tell me one thing, okay? Answer one question for me." I didn't reach out to her again, to let her have her space.

I skeptically looked at him. "You'll stop asking me? You'll leave me alone for a little while?"

"I might." I said, showing her my charm smile, hoping to turn around the conversation.

"Don't do that, Booth." I said with a desperation in my voice that even surprised me. His charm smile had made me weak in the knees more than once and it was another reminder of the love he had for me. The love I wasn't worthy to receive.

"Sorry." I gave her an earnest smile now and held out my hand before speaking again. She knew she was going to have to take it. She knew me.

I took a deep breath as I looked at him. He was going to ask me anyway. I knew and I felt oddly comforted by the notion. The fact that he was still holding out his hand, waiting for me to grab it, showed once again how much he cared about me. Hesitantly I took it. So I stood there, not knowing what to expect, yet awaiting his question.

"What is it that stops you from telling me what's wrong?" I asked as soon as she'd laid her hand in mine, the first sign of surrender.

The question shook me to my core and my body trembled. "No. I can't answer that. Please, Booth… Don't make me." I was near tears, once again. The day had been way too emotional. I couldn't fight them back. I didn't have the strength left.

"Okay, okay." I hushed her and took her other hand in mine, too. Nowhere to hide, now. "Has someone hurt you?" I tried carefully.

I quickly shook my head. "No. No one has hurt me." I hesitated. Maybe I could say this, I mean he had figured out already that something was wrong. It couldn't hurt to admit that, right? Besides, this wasn't the place to discuss this. But I didn't know what I was doing anymore. When we started this, it had seemed so easy. But I still managed to ruin it.

"Did you hurt someone? I don't expect you to be perfect, you know. It's okay if you make mistakes." I squeezed both her hands to keep her attention on me.

I nodded. "Yes. You could say that. In a way I've hurt somebody. Badly. I know you don't expect me to be perfect, Booth, but…" As a lump formed in my throat, I was unable to continue this conversation. My gaze felt as if it was glued to the floor. I couldn't look up. _'Will he link this to the first time I had disappointed him like this? God I hope not…_

A nagging feeling began to form in my stomach, but I ignored it. This was about her. "Bones?" She wouldn't look up at me, and I knew she was silently crying. "You need me. Okay? We both know you do. For now, I don't care what happened. I just care about making you feel better. It's just me, always wanting to fix stuff. You know I'm silly like that. Please let me try to fix you? Help you?" I was getting desperate, and I wanted to wrap her safely in my arms. I wanted to shield her from the world and all that had gone wrong for her, in it. I wanted to be her safe haven. I needed my arms to be protection for her.

"Could you - could you take me home?"

"Of course." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as if draping an invisibility cloak over her, to shield her from the things she didn't need to deal with right now. With my other hand, I grabbed her coat and keys and guided her out of her office.

I didn't have the strength or the power of will left to fight him. I allowed him to grab my stuff and new tears formed in my eyes as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. My arms wrapped themselves around his waist. _I just need to hold him. Once he figures it out, he'll… God, I don't know anymore… I just… I don't want to hurt him._ I silently allowed him to guide me out of the Jeffersonian, to the SUV.

Luckily, there had been no questions asked upon my quiet escape with my lady scientist. People would think I was taking her to eat something, probably. All the same, I cherished the feeling of her arms wrapped around me. She probably didn't know this, but as protective as she might think I'm of her, she's doing it, too. It had got to the point where her arms around me made ME feel safe and protected, loved. God, I loved this woman. She had my heart. Oh, yes she did.

Upon arriving at the SUV, I opened the door for her and held her tightly for a moment, radiating as much warmth to her body as I could, then kissed her hair.

_I wonder if he will still want me close to his body, close enough to hold, to kiss, once he knows why I'm upset. I doubt it._ So I closed my eyes and chose to ignore the nagging voice in my head that was telling me to just do what was kindest to him and just allow him to leave me. And if he couldn't see that it was the logical thing to do, I would force him. I looked up at him with a sad smile. "Oh, Booth. You deserve so much better than me."

I could hardly look at her while she said that. She had just sent a dagger straight into my heart. Yes, she was hurting me. But at least she was being honest. So I said nothing, didn't even attempt to force words past the major lump blocking my throat. I merely pressed another kiss into her hair, hoping to convey my love for her no matter what. I walked away from her, to the other side of the car. _How can she say that? How can she even think that?_ I got furious with anyone who dared say negative things about my Bones, and now, when she herself was inflicting the loathing, I was angry too, only finding myself terribly confused as to where to direct my anger.

I got in the car and sat down in the seat. I crossed my legs and stared out the window. I watched him walk in front of the car to get to the driver's seat. I could see that he was just as upset as I was, he was just dealing a lot better with it. When the door opened, I stared ahead. I heard him putting the key in the ignition and I knew what he was waiting for. He was waiting for me to put my seat belt on. _Well I'm not going to do that. Why would I? It's supposed to protect people. Just like I don't deserve Booth's love, I don't deserve it's protection. What's the point? The only thing I manage to do is hurt people or alienate them from me. What's the point in wearing a seat belt?_ I knew he was waiting for me, but well, he would be waiting until hell froze over.

Although aware that I wasn't helping her by getting mad, my blood was boiling as I noticed her unwillingness to wear the seat belt. Scenarios were racing through my mind of what I could do and how she would react. So I sat there for a long time, unmoving, frustration building up inside me, until I was ready to explode. Then, I apparently surprised her, by suddenly leaning over her and grabbing her seat belt with a hard yank, because she pressed herself into the seat, instinctively moving away from my aggressiveness. I gave it another yank so that it got long enough to fasten, and with trembling hands, I tried to fit the damn piece in the fastener. She was regarding me with a shocked expression. I didn't care. There were a lot of things I'd do to her before letting her die. This was only the tip of the ice berg. I quickly fastened my own seat belt and with abrupt movements, steered the SUV out of the Jeffersonian parking garage. It wasn't until I reached 60 miles per hour on the freeway, that I felt the anger begin to slide out of my body.

I was shocked and warmed by his actions. He had given me time to put it on myself. I felt ashamed and heartbroken. I felt like I was being a bitch to him. Here he was, trying to help me, trying to calm me down enough to talk to him. And what did I do? I just hurt him a little more. _But now I sure as hell can't tell him. If he even reacts this badly to a mundane thing as not putting on ones seatbelt, his reaction would be ten times more hurtful for the both of us if I told him. I only have one option left. Push him away, before I can hurt him even more._ Without thinking it through, my hand, which had been resting in my lap, moved over to the fastener. Dead set on unleashing it.

I noticed her hand moving from the corner of my eye and had to choose between two options in the blink of an eye. Slamming on the brakes wouldn't be a very good idea, although I was tempted, so I went for the other option. I caught her wrist in mid-air and held onto it firmly. "I'm not going to let go until you promise me you'll keep that thing right where it is." I said through clenched teeth. "Or, you don't, and I'll crash us both to death, because I can't drive with one hand. You choose."

Tears welled up in my eyes. _Why does he has to love me the way he does? Can't he see I'm not worth it!?! The only thing I'm doing is hurting him. I can't give him what he needs!_ However, I couldn't let him crash to his death. I loved him too much. I could hardly talk through my sobs, which I could no longer control. But I had to say something. "Okay I won't... I'll l-leave it on. I p-promise." I knew he wasn't kidding. He wouldn't let go of my wrist unless I promised him I would keep on the seat belt.

It tore my heart apart, to ignore her sobbing. What I wanted to do, was stop the car, pull her quickly onto my lap and hug and kiss her till all her sorrows had vanished. What I did, was clamp my teeth together and let go of her wrist, which I regretted having squeezed so hard. If there was one thing I wouldn't ever do, it was man-handling Bones. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and - like I pointed out before - there were lots of things I would do to her before allowing her to die.

As he let go of my wrist, I quickly pulled it back. I immediately covered my mouth with my hands, trying to stifle the sobs that were ripping through me. _God, I need to make him see that I'm no good for him and fast. I can't take hurting him like this. I really can't. One of us needs to remain logical._ I stared through the passengers side's window and was relieved to see that we were almost home. _But wait a minute! Damn! He brought us back to his place. I can't kick him out of his place! And he won't just let me leave either._ A new wave of tears forced their way out of my body as I took in this fact and thought about what it meant.

I was gripping the wheel tightly, knuckles turning all white. I couldn't BEAR listening to her sobs and not doing anything about it. Luckily, we had almost reached my place. MY place, yes, because I knew that logical mind of hers inside and out. She couldn't threaten to charge me with breaking and entering when we were at my place. So I finally stopped and unfastened my seat belt. When she didn't react, it was painful to me, because the thought entered my mind that I had scared her with my aggressive behavior and that she was now afraid to move. "Uhm... you can unfasten your seat belt now. ...Not that you'd need my permission, but..." I stammered stupidly. _Yep, I'm an ass. Getting mad at someone who was in need of love and patience. Real clever of me. Nice job._

I nodded slowly. I knew that he was feeling guilty about the whole seat belt fiasco. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him, for loving me enough to force me to wear my seat belt. But I didn't. Because I couldn't let Booth think that I was slowly opening up to him, while my mind had been made up. _If he doesn't want to leave me, I will show him how bad I am for him and I will show him reason, evidence why he should walk away from me._ My eyes teared up. _'And even though I'm sure it'll take him longer than any other man, he will walk away. They all do._

After locking the SUV, I walked around it, to where she was standing next to the door. I tentatively placed my hand on her lower back - my spot - and ever so gently guided her to my door. I was silently asking for her forgiveness. In an attempt to remain positive, I imagined going through whatever it took to get her to open up to me, and then I would have her in my arms in our warm bed tonight. Holding her, loving her, protecting her.

I could feel his guilt seep into me. The gently way he put his hand on his place on my back, made me realize I was doing exactly what I was doing my best to avoid. Hurting him. So when we stopped for a moment, to open the door, I put my hands on the glass, keeping it shut. I knew the gesture would make Booth stop dead in his tracks, which was good, cause he needed to hear this.

I hadn't expected her to do that. In fact, I was becoming scared of her reactions, of what she was going to do, of what she was going to say. I had to force myself to look her in the eye. Her gorgeous blue eyes, which reflected the sun, the moon and the stars on the days that she was doing well. Now, though, they were clouded over, and I couldn't see passed them, which made me feel so uncomfortable.

"I'm I'm sorry, Booth. I should've worn my seat belt." I looked away from him. "I understood why you did what you did. I'm not mad at you, so please don't feel guilty about this."

"Yes, you should've." I whispered, not trusting my voice not to tremble. The lump hadn't moved an inch in my throat, and it irritated me. "And it's good that you understand, because you could have gotten yourself killed. What the hell is wrong with you that you would consider doing that to yourself? That you would let yourself get into such danger? How can you even do that to me?" I wasn't yelling at her or anything, I wasn't even mad. Just depressed, because I was getting desperate. She was blocking me out so hard it felt like being constantly hit in the face.

I could hear the pain in his voice. It made me realize something. _Am I not telling him because I want to protect him or because I want to protect myself? Cause in the case of the latter I'm only hurting him further. Maybe - Maybe the only thing I CAN do to protect him, to stop him from hurting, is doing what he asked me to do in the first place. Talk to him… After all, he is a lot better at dealing with feelings than I am. _I sighed. _I have to do something. And it's not logical to continue this line of thought as it has clearly only been proven to be extremely hurtful towards him._ I turned around swiftly and said, before I could change my mind: "Seeley, can we go to your apartment now. I've made a decision." Even though I dreaded the moments that were to come, I felt better. Some of the clarity had returned. I had a plan and I was gonna stick to it.

Relieved to hear the Bones I knew through her voice, I turned the key and opened the door. She stepped into the hall first and I followed. We quickly shed our coats and suddenly, it seemed like she didn't want to wait anymore, like she was almost anxious to tell me. I left it up to her how and when she would begin, and if we'd sit in the kitchen or the living room, or cramped into the bathtub for all I cared. I just needed to hear what was wrong so I could fix it. I was mentally wringing my hands together at the thought, getting ready to work.

"We can't do this anymore." The moment I said it, I knew it was the wrong way to put it.

I hadn't seen that coming. Not like that. My heart went into cardiac arrest and my breathing ceased. I was a dead man. I felt so weak I couldn't even open my mouth to speak. So I just froze and looked at her.

"Booth! NO! NO! That is NOT what I meant! God, Seeley!" I walked over to him and wrapped him in my arms, the look in his eyes was like a knife to my heart. "Come on, let's go sit down." I added, attempting to get him to walk to the couch in the living room, but his grip on me was tight and he just clutched me to his body with all of his strength. Desperate not to let me go.

"Woman..." I breathed. "You just scared me half to death. Don't you ever do that to me again. And don't expect me to let go of you for the next five minutes. Or fifty years, for that matter." I felt the blood slowly starting to move into my body again and I just took deep breaths, my nose pressed in her hair. _God, I love her smell. I love this woman._ It was nothing I could help, nothing I had chosen to do, I just did.

"I'm not going anywhere Seeley. Not unless you want me too and you clearly don't. It's just… I'm just worried you'll change your mind about it once you know what happened." For some reason, the position I was in, felt inviting to talk. Booth was as close to me as he could get with both of us clothed and there was the added advantage that I couldn't see his face. _I won't have to see the raw emotion when I tell him what has happened. Again._That was the thought that finally broke me. Tears started to slide down my cheeks and as I started to sob, I got weak in the knees. Had Booth not been standing there, I would've surely collapsed on the floor. "I'm s-so sorry-y-y, Booth. So sorry-y-y." I said as I sobbed hysterically into his chest.

I was fighting tears myself while holding onto her for dear life. I was so, so relieved that she wanted to stay with me, yet so, so utterly sad that she was sad. I felt her weight pulling at me as her knees weakened from the power of her sobs, so I held her up. Eventually, I just decided I might as well carry her to the couch and have her lean into me while she cried, for that would be more comfortable for the both of us. Against all odds, that part of the plan went without protest and I pulled her against me once we were safely on the couch. "It's okay, baby, you can tell me. Tell me anything. I'm here for you." I murmured against her hair. I had enveloped her in my arms, she was lying safely atop my chest and I was ready to hear what she had to tell me.

I took a deep breath as I tried to calm down my sobbing. _It's time to tell him what happened today._ I pressed myself onto his chest as I wrapped my arms around him. "We can't keep doing this anymore. We can't keep trying to get pregnant." I paused for a moment. When he didn't say anything, I continued. "I know you still want other children. But we can't, Booth. I mean I can't… I can't because…" I was about to tell him what had happened that morning in the lab, when I chickened out. "Because, I'll be a bad mother."

It broke my heart to know that I had put such weight on her shoulders. Had I made her feel that I wanted her to have my babies more than I wanted her? Had I pressured her that much? I couldn't recount any occasions where I might have done such a thing. Still, despite popular belief, she WAS receptive to other people's hopes and wishes, and she knew me better than anyone else. I had to be honest with myself. I did want more children. And I did want her to be their mother. But I should have given her background more thought in this. She'd hardly known a mother. She didn't have many good examples of how to be one. It didn't come as naturally to her as to most other women, perhaps. "Bones..." I eventually said, for it was all I could come up with. "If you're not ready, we won't try anymore."

I felt guilty about chickening out. _He has a right to know everything. This is not something that happened to only me. This is something that happened to us._ "Booth..." I cleared my throat and clutched him tightly, trying to protect him from the pain, my words would awaken. "Do you remember six months ago? When I thought I was pregnant? But then when we took a pregnancy test…" I couldn't go on. I had never known heartbreak like that day. My hopes were up, I really thought that I was pregnant, but the test had turned out to be negative.

"I do, Bones. I do," I assured her softly and stroked her hair. "It wasn't the right time." There was no other explanation I had come up with in the past six months, anyway. It had been one of the biggest disappointments of my life, but I didn't want her to feel like it was her fault, and now I was fearing that was exactly how she felt.

"I extensively researched the reasons why we had the negative pregnancy test six months ago. Apparently it's possible for a female to trick her body into thinking its pregnant. I hadn't reached that stage yet, but my period was probably late, because of it. Luckily we caught it early. The negative pregnancy test, shocked me back into reality. It was probably due to the fact that it was the first month and I wanted a baby so badly."

I nodded. I understood. We had shared the same feelings. I pulled her against me gently, running my hand over her back in a motion I knew soothed her.

I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the next words I would have to push through my lips. "But that's not why I was so upset. Something - something worse h-happened today." I could feel my tears starting to burn in my eyes again. "Oh, Seeley!" I couldn't hold the tears back and I started to cry. Again.

My heart was pounding in my chest. _What happened? Is she okay?_ "It's okay. You can tell me. Tell me what happened today." I softly urged her on.

Reassured by his gentle words, I managed to find the strength to push my body upright. _I need to see him, look into his eyes as I tell him this._

I didn't know whether I preferred to be looking into her eyes as she told me or not. In any case, there was no way back now, and I would have to face her secret.

"When I arrived at the lab this morning, I had my suspicions that I was pregnant. But instead of using a pregnancy test, I decided to do a blood test. It was really early and I had all the equipment that I needed within arm's reach. Well not actually within - you know what I mean." I took a deep breath and said. "I gave myself a little cut in my finger and drew some blood. I went over to Hodgins' office and I tested it." I grabbed his hands. "It was positive."

As soon as her words got through to me and I had checked myself several times to establish I had heard her correctly, a wide grin spread over my face. "But- " I stammered. "That - that's awesome, Bones! That's - amazing! The most amazing news!" I waited for her to smile, as well, while not paying attention to how hard I was squeezing her hands anymore - I was in total ecstasy.

"Booth." My voice was barely audible, nothing more than a whisper. I tried again. "Booth!" He wouldn't listen. "BOOTH!" When I didn't get through to him, I did the only thing I could think of. "Seeley! Stop!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Damn. That didn't take time to get through to me. That just hit in like a bomb. "Yeah, what is it?" I asked worriedly.

Tears filled my eyes and my lower lip trembled. "I'm not pregnant anymore." My entire body started to shake. "I lost the baby just a few hours after finding out."

"Oh Bones. Oh, baby, Baby, come here." I released her hands and pulled her body into mine. With every ounce I was worth, I tried to comfort her. How horrible it must have been for her. What a nightmare. And she went through it all by herself. But then I myself had to swallow back tears. For those ten seconds, I had been the father of our child. The child I had been dreaming of for a long time. It was the hardest thing to once again having to put that yearning away. "You know it's not your fault, don't you, Bones? It's not you. It just isn't the right time. Don't feel bad, baby."

"Oh Booth, I know that logically speaking, it just means that there was a fundamental problem with the baby on the level of DNA, but it makes me feel so so helpless. I'm a woman, Booth. This is what women are meant to do. Have babies. And I can't even… " I was immediately interrupted by his reply.

"Don't even go there, Bones. Don't even think that you aren't good enough. You, Temperance Brennan, are all woman. One hell of a woman." The words were coming straight from my heart. I'd never been that honest in my life.

I finally did what I had been longing to do since I had gone to the bathroom, only to see that my panties were soiled with blood. I lunged myself into his arms and clutched him to me. "I'm sorry I worried you the way I did, Booth. I'm sorry I pulled away. I'm sorry about the whole thing with not wanting to put on the seat belt, for making you think I didn't want you and then for getting your hopes up about me being pregnant, only to rip them away from you. I'm so sorry… Can you forgive me? Please, Booth. Please say you'll forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive, Temperance." I insisted. "You didn't do ANYTHING wrong. Your body reacted the right way. If there was something wrong with the DNA... Your body works perfectly, Bones. I admire it every day. It's made the right choice. Please, please don't be sorry. Please don't blame yourself."

"But the way I acted. I - I know I scared you when I didn't want to put on the seat belt or when I said that we couldn't do this anymore." I was still very confused. I wanted to believe him, I did, but I was struggling with actually doing so.

"Yeah, you might go about that differently in the future." I told her honestly, though with a hint of playfulness in my voice. "But knowing what I know now, I don't blame you. Your conscience should be clear, Temperance Brennan."

His words were like a balm to ease the pain I had carried all day. I gently sank back into Booth's arms as I sighed and closed my eyes.

"You know, Bones." I said as I performed the soothing motion on her back and shoulders again. "Us, what we have, it's not built upon whether we have children right away or not. It's you and me that counts. Kids are just a dream. One day we might get to live that dream, but until then, let's just agree to love each other, and be honest about what we feel. Okay?"

I sat up straight again. I could see that he was startled by my quick movements and I could read the unspoken question in his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his**.**

As they shared a kiss of passion, of hardship, of happiness, of disappointment, but above all, a kiss of love, they were being watched by several souls of children waiting for their chance to be brought into the world of these two people. They smiled at the parents of their choosing, and awaited patiently the time when a tiny clump of cells would remain in the woman's womb long enough to sustain life. Their lives.

The End!

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